How we can help?
We want to help men living in the shadows of abuse to start leading the lives they want and deserve.
We are here to help you make sense of your story, answer those difficult questions and come to terms with how this has impacted your life.
Did you know?
If you are a man who has been sexually abused as a child or experienced rape or sexual assault in your lifetime —you are not alone.
It is estimated that each year in the UK, 12,000 men are raped and 70,000 are sexually abused or assaulted.
The impact of Sexual violence can have a profound impact on a man’s life, here are just some of the ways research shows males are impacted:
- Feelings of helplessness, isolation and alienation.
- Difficult feelings of guilt, shame or humiliation
- Flashbacks and invasive thoughts.
- Use of alcohol or drugs.
- Suicidal thoughts and behaviour.
- Nightmares and insomnia.
- Anger & Mood Swings.
- Depression and Anxiety/Fear.
- Mental health difficulties.
- Self-blame, Low self–esteem, Self doubt.
- A sense of loss, grief.
- Difficulties with relationships and intimacy.
- Questions and difficulties related to masculinity and gender identity.
- Questions and difficulties related to sexuality.
- Not able to speak about what happened
Why men find it difficult to speak?
Men impacted by sexual crimes are often left feeling too ashamed to talk or ask questions that such life-changing experiences can leave them with.
We know it is not easy to break the silence. Males often do not speak out about childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault due to things such as:
- Fear of what the reaction might be, what will people think or do?
- Confusion, guilt, shame, or embarrassment. For example, believing that you were in some way responsible or complicit.
- Not knowing how to talk about it, or not being able to find the words.
- It feeling too painful to talk about. Fear of losing control, and becoming overwhelmed by emotions.
- Having to explain the circumstances, such as what you were doing there in the first place.
- A wish to protect others, to keep it a secret in the hope that someone else won’t also be harmed or upset.
- Threats, either physical or verbal, from the abuser.
Then there are a number of questions that can make it difficult for men to talk about an experience of sexual assault or rape, such as:
- Is male sexual abuse a crime?
- Is it possible for a man to be raped?
- If I had an erection during a sexual assault does this mean I “really wanted it” or mean I consented to it?
- Can a man actually be sexually assaulted by a woman?
- Does being sexually assaulted by a man make me gay?
- Do men who have been sexually assaulted then go on to perpetrate sexual assault?
Such questions can affect how a man feels about himself following an assault and may even prevent him seeking any kind of support. We can help you with these worries during your counselling.
Talking about your experience can have a positive impact on your life today.
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